Saturday, December 08, 2012

Guest from the Right: Gary DeMar

How to Teach Simple-Minded People about Economics


Teaching economics is not difficult. You don’t need charts or graphs. All you need are a few good illustrations. One way to teach is with some humor. The Parable of the Two Cows is one way.

Bill Sherk mentions that a list has circulated throughout the United States since around 1936 under the title “Parable of the Isms.” A column in The Chicago Daily Tribune in 1938 attributes a version involving socialism, communism, fascism and New Dealism to an address by Silas Strawn to the Economic Club of Chicago on November 29, 1935.

Here are some of the better Two Cow Isms. I’ve tinkered with some of them:

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The government takes both cows, loses one while giving the cow to people who don’t know anything about cows because that’s what the regulations told them to do.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

COMMUNISM (1): You have two cows. The government takes both of them and gives you some of the milk.

COMMUNISM (2): You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can’t afford the milk. You starve to death.

COMMUNISM (3): You have two cows. The State takes both, and gives you a little milk . . . once.

COMMUNISM (4): You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you spoiled milk.

CUBAN COMMUNISM: You no longer have any cows. You risk your life by escaping from Cuba so you can buy some cows and a bull in Miami.

DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both cows and drafts you to make sure he stays in power.

FASCISM: You have two cows. You give the milk to the government and the government sells it.

FREE ENTERPRISE:
You have two cows. They get jobs working for Chick-fil-A for the company’s “Eat Mor Chikin” campaign. The chickens get upset and call for a boycott.

LIBERALISM: You have two cows. You sell both of them to the rich. The government then taxes the rich the price of one cow and gives it to the poor who slaughter it. When they finish eating it, they demand the other cow.

NEW DEAL LIBERALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain insisting there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes. Think Social Security.

POLITICAL CORRECTISM: The idea of “ownership’ is a holdover from the pre-Enlightenment era. Humans and cows are equal. The use of the word “cow” is demeaning. Cows should be allowed to vote.

(You can read more of Gary DeMar's articles at Political Outcast).

44 comments:

CrabbyOldMan said...

Chibamaism:
The government steals one cow and gives it to cronies, but that cow starves to death because the union workforce eats all of the cow’s food themselves. The government lets the farmer keep the other cow, but confiscates most of the milk to redistribute in the interest of fairness. The farmer gives up and slaughters the cow, but the government won’t let the farmer sell any of the meat because a vegetarian diet reduces obesity.
Enemas, Malarkey and Nate can’t find anything wrong with this picture, and complain that the farmer is being an obstructionist.

CrabbyOldMan said...

OFF TOPIC OFF TOPIC OFF TOPIC
Malarkey:
As a proud union man, do you have any comment about the Michigan Legislature passing a Right to Work Law?

Nate said...

Thankfully, everyone at the table is a capitalist. Who again are you arguing against?

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CrabbyOldMan said...

Nate:
Most will agree that "everyone at the table" IS NOT a Capitalist.
Enemas:
You just HAVE to make sure you don't use too much water!

Zelda said...

You're not a capitalist, Nate. You're more of a hypocrite.

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