Guest from the Right: Eric Aves

Fixing our Energy Crises



If you are like many Americans your bills have most likely shot up in the past few years. We have many different sources of energy we could utilize, locally, cost efficient, environmentally friendly or all of the above. No matter where you live, you're affected by these rising prices. Now here's the kicker, what do we do about this? Here are a few choices I have decided that no one is looking at, but each could be utilized in it's own way.

1. We could utilize the smells coming off of the Occupy Crowd. Whether you are for or against them, they are there to stay. We may as well take advantage of their inability to take a shower and harness that incredible stench that wafts off the occupiers.

2. Hire Willy Wonka to come to America and bring his Oompa Loompas with him. The Oompa Loompas can be given green cards and as Willy Wonka creates an entirely new Chocolate Factory, Mr. Wonka could no doubt work his inventive mind beyond his confectionery delights and create an oompa loompa powered machine that would light the entire eastern shore.

3. Attaching wires to couch potatoes who do nothing but watch TV all day and take advantage of the little body heat that flows of their bodies.

4. Use the vibrations of the earth and feed them into a tesla coil to step up the charge.

5. Create new energy buildings that would use the energy from adding Coke with Mentos or Vinegar with Baking Powder.