Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Guest Post by "Mo"

Oh Canada!?! (WTF)- Today's sign that the apocalypse is upon us

"Have you ever been to a children’s soccer game where they “don’t keep score”? You quickly realize that the only people not keeping score are the idiots running the league… If you watch the kids you’ll see and hear them keeping their own score. They’ll run up to you afterward and exclaim (or whisper if in range of any league personnel) “We won!” Or sulk to the sidelines, knowing that they lost... And you know that all the Dads are keeping score.

Children learn through sports and other sources of competition both the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. It’s one of the purest and best ways to learn about how the world works… and either way, afterward the team goes to the pizza parlor (or to McDonald's for a Happy Meal with a little toy in it), and all is OK, right?…

Well, Canada has found a way to one-up us on this one. The Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer League in Ottawa has recently introduced a new regulation that changes their existing 5 point mercy rule to now dictate in the name of sportsmanship that any team winning by more than five points automatically loses! [source]

League representatives state it is a temporary rule put in place until a pre-season skills assessment can establish “fair teams” next year… and that it was suggested by “involved parents.” Translation- the parents of kids on the worst teams complained, and rather than suffering through a season of misery and salvaging the life lessons of how to compete, weather life’s adversities, and persevere, they instead introduced their children to the moral low ground.

I predict that during the first couple of games, the losing team will attempt to fool the winning team into scoring a 6th goal. Then they’ll purposely score on themselves… As they should in an effort to ‘win’ and make sense of this new crazy paradigm. The problem with this is that the better team will no doubt counter the strategy with one of keep-away. Eventually it will all devolve into pushing, shoving and name-calling… Well done.

The club director responded to criticism from parents with a telling statement: “The registration fee, regardless of the sport, does not give a parent the right to insult or belittle the organization.” Clearly his understanding of community and free speech are a glimpse into just how deep the rabbit hole of his confused thought processes go…

Five year league veteran, 17 year old Kevin demonstrated more common sense and wisdom than the league’s entire 12 person board of directors when he said “People grow in adversity, they don’t really get worse…. I think you’ll see more leadership skills being used if a losing team tries to recuperate than if they never got into that situation at all.” His parents deserve an extra orange slice at halftime."

("Mo" is currently serving in Iraq and has been kind enough to agree to sending me his thoughts when he needs to vent)

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