Monday, January 04, 2010

Dear Michelle Obama

This post is dedicated to Fred. He sent me this email over the holidays:

"jogging about the net and discovered snippy blonde lady--you--making fun of the president's wife. Is it always the case that conservatives belittle, get snarky, with those they oppose in elections or those who are married to someone who won the election? Are you snippy in non-blog life? advise
be of good cheer

To which I replied:

"Imagine you write 3+ posts on a blog every single day for 5+ years and then tell me what you wouldn't talk about to fill the space...? Now keeping that little fact in mind, and since we're issuing sweeping stereo types...why is it that libs never use common sense to consider the obvious?

Dear Michelle Obama:
I say this because I am normally honest to a fault, which I'm sure you'll appreciate since you've been surrounded by "Yes Men" for so long. Your feet aren't cute. When you have large feet and feet with finger-length toes, you shouldn't fully expose them. A peek-a-boo toe is one thing, but this foot thong you're wearing is just not attractive. (In addiction to the fact that it looks as if another half size was in order).

And, if subjecting the American pubic to unattractive feet wasn't bad enough, to think that you paid $632 for these Maison Martin Margielas while unemployment numbers are at an all time high seems just, pathetic as your history of charitable giving (or should I say lack of history).

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