Monday, April 21, 2008

Strategically Placed Men in My Life

Rainy OC BoardwalkLast week I had an of those things Oprah refers to as an "A-Ha!" moment. God gave me my two boys to temper my femi-nazi proclivities. Actually, not just my two boys, but quite a few men in my life that have countered the stereo-types and tethered me from delving into full-fledged feminism.

It's not that I hate men. I live with three of them. I have three brothers that I love dearly. And most of my best friends through-out my life have been (and are) men. I am never quite sure how to explain my feelings about this. I guess it stems from the fact that I love being a woman. I think that a successful society ultimately revolves around the traits brought by a woman. I honestly believe women (as a whole) are more disciplined, nurturing, selfless, and determined. We are the Liquid Nails if you will.

One of the things that I say which tends to annoy the men in my life is "Whatever, you're a white man...the only one in the history of the country that's never been held back." ...But, that being said, having two boys has forced me to look at the other side. One of my sons is being harassed in school by a girl. It's not out of meanness--it's a long-standing crush, but this doesn't lessen his dismay. She pinches, punches, hugs, pulls hair and scratches him. She does it constantly --even if I'm standing right there (the brazen little hussy). I had to write his teacher a note asking for him to be moved because I didn't want her messing with this newly stitched finger. Then I started thinking...what if HE were doing all this to HER. Expulsion AND lawsuit I'm sure. A friend's son went through a similar incident in 6th grade and it culminated to him vented hostilities about the girl online...and ended with FBI involvement for terroristic threats. I get scared because I see that same frustration and hatred building in my guy too... What's a young boy's recourse when people dismiss harassment as "oh, it's cute...she just has a crush"? If a boy did it, it would be inappropriate stalking and sexual harassment...not an innocent crush.

The Man restores my faith too. I know the cow in Wisconsin that comments here would be loathe to hear it. He also doesn't have AN OUNCE of chauvinism in him...and when it comes right down to it, that's a RARE thing. (Something I've become even more aware of with Hillary running for President) I judge this purely on actions/reactions and NOT by the spoken word. I can only assume in The Man this is the product of being raised by a strong spoken single mother.

Two good male friends being SoLow. I've watched Solow go from badass high school football star, to badass Marine, to badass biker to badass single dad that has sole custody of his two sons. His dedication to his kids constantly awes me.

So it is these men, among others, that drag me back from believing that all men are base creatures that function purely with their Id and think in the moment instead of taking 2.5 seconds to ponder a possible consequence...

Thanks to all of you for that... of course this epiphany leads me to believe that God might have another boy in store for me with this pregnancy -just to seal the deal ;)

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