Monday, April 07, 2008

Pearls Of Wisdom Courtesy of Snoop Dogg

In case you missed this, it was just too wonderfully ludicrous to ignore...

"...His responses are near catatonic, with an edge that suggests if only he weren't so bored by the questions they would be making him angry. But he comes to life when I raise the subject of Barack Obama's recent speech on race.

"What did he say?" he asks, raising an eyebrow to himself, flirting with his own angular lines.

"Well, he's having to disassociate himself from his pastor, who was criticised for saying, essentially, that America is built on racism."

"It is!" he screeches at the mirror.

I'm not quite sure where I'm supposed to be looking: it's a bit like talking to someone with a wall eye. "Right, but because he wants to be president he still has to disavow this confidant of 25 years," I say.

"Black America support him on that. By any means necessary. Get in that White House. Then once he get in, he can catch up to old relationships. 'Cos they looking for a loophole to make him not win." He almost looks at me, but then seems to think better of it as he whispers: "The KKK gave Obama money."

"Really?"

"YES." Snoop has an interesting verbal mannerism of capitalising words without putting any exclamation at the end. "They was one of his biggest supporters."

"I've never heard that."

"YES. Why wouldn't they be? The media won't tell you that. They don't want you to know that. They just want you to know that this nigger befriended this other nigger who be threatening your values. But we all know all presidents lie to get into fucking office. That's they job."

Does he agree with the widely held sentiment that Bill Clinton was the "first black president"?

"He was closest we gonna get to the first black president. He related to black needs and black values, black understanding and racism. He from Little Rock, Arkansas. That's a black-dominated world. He was part of us. That's why every day was happy when he was in office. It was just the funnest time in the world. Everything worked."

If Obama were in the room, I get the sense Snoop would let him share the mirror. "In America's eyes, that muthafucker's gonna be the president 'cos [John] McCain can't fuck with him. Hillary [Clinton] can't fuck with him. He's winning over white people, white ladies."

I mention a recent survey that revealed older black women's reluctance to vote for Obama because they have a maternal fear that, if elected, he would be assassinated. Snoop sits up straight. "It's real! It's true shit. That's the White House. No niggers allowed!"

So what about Condoleeza Rice? Snoop slouches. "They need us to manipulate and do the bad shit because we conversate and our colour is friendly with other peoples. This colour" - he traces a loving finger down his cheek - "is friendly with every country. That white colour" - he points at me - "ain't friendly. The white man be threatening the Indian. The white man be threatening the slaves. The white man be threatening the Australians." (I think he is talking about atrocities against the Aboriginal people.) "That face ain't to be trusted. That's why Condoleeza does all the conversatin' and all the chores around the world. Remember when Clinton was in office, he had the black dude move for him?" Vernon Jordan?

"Yeah, that nigger that covered up shit for him: 'Say you never had sex with that woman ... '" (source)

Here's the thing...there are a few headlines that read Snoop Dogg "BLASTS" or "ACCUSES" Obama of being funded by the KKK, but I think Snoop meant this as a compliment. I'm not sure if he really believes Obama is taking the KKK's cash, but he is certainly fine (almost proud) of the 'by any means necessary' notion of getting into the Oval Office. The stodgy MSM doesn't recognize a Snoop compliment when they hear one! ;)

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