Monday, April 21, 2008

Guest Post by Redbone

Have you ever seen an NRA sticker on a Prius? Have you ever seen any bumper sticker on a Prius? Have you ever seen a Prius? Now I am not going to insinuate that the Prius is an epicene kind of automobile, but I have never seen one with so much as a ski rack. My representative in Congress, Roscoe Bartlett, drives one, and he’s a farmer and a staunch conservative. He probably keeps a gun in the glove box. To euthanize deer that have been hit by a car, of course. Either that or to euthanize himself after the Prius is hit by a dragonfly. The Prius is in itself a kind of bumper sticker, a statement if you will, just driving the thing says a lot. No one puts a bumper sticker on a Ferrari now do they? But mini-vans, hoo-boy, covered. I can’t even read a bumper sticker any more unless I am standing right next to the parked car. I have never put a bumper sticker on one of MY cars, read carefully. But I did put one on my trash can by the road.

Well yesterday I pretty much skewered the left for their illogical and emotional response to climate change. Then I went over to Lucianne and got in a big argument with the neocon knuckle-draggers. Hey, don’t tell me that you don’t waste time on the internet. Roger bought a snail on Ebay. No, not just any snail, a Triton Trumpet. It turns out that my brother has one too. But Roger’s is still alive. He has to feed it one or two starfish every week. And a lot of pet stores won’t sell you a starfish if you are just going to feed it to a snail. So you have to keep going to different pet stores or they’ll get suspicious. And my manager has videos of unusual acts with a Cello, really. So it ain’t just me.

Anyway, it has come to my attention that the liberals don’t have a lock on illogical and emotional prejudices. It turns out that the neocons are just as hardheaded and close-minded, they just have different issues. So these boneheaded neocons think that if we leave Iraq , the entire free world will collapse and a global Jihad will scorch the West. I swear to god that they are sitting around with their fingers in their ears singing lalalalalala at the top of their lungs. Hello, WTF does Iraq have to do with 911? Bin Laden is from Saudi Arabia , as are most of the other hijackers. Al Qaeda is in Afghanistan and Pakistan . Bin laden has never been and is not now in Iraq . There is no logic to the madness, it is the herd mentality, as Steve says. They are thoroughly convinced that if we do not control Iraq , America will be nuked and cease to exist. This is exactly the same as the irrational fear of SUVs burning up the planet. No logic, no science, no actual facts are involved and none will be tolerated. It is like trying to argue evolution with a fundamentalist Christian. No matter how strong and overwhelming the data, they are just going to stick their fingers in their ears and go lalalalalala until you go away. Fine. As long as it doesn’t affect me, which it is most certainly going to do, so I am going to keep spouting logic and reason at the heathen beasts.

But, if liberals have these irrational beliefs, and conservatives have other irrational beliefs, are moderates any better? More succinctly: How many of our widely accepted ‘truths’ are based in rationality and science. Politics certainly isn’t. Democracy, Justice, the courts? Nope. Poverty, work ethics? Colleges are clearly places where irrational prejudices thrive, so they aren’t any better. How many of the beliefs that you or I hold dear are utter crap if you shine a beam of logic on them? Is it better to get up early, healthy and wealthy and all that. Crime doesn’t pay? Think about it, how much of your life is governed by irrational dogma? About 99 percent. Rationality is the exception, not the rule. As a matter of fact, most of us consider a brief spurt of rational thought to be an epiphany, some great insight, as if we have discovered that time is not constant. What, we can’t predict the weather? Who would have ever of thought of that! Why, we are so advanced, we can do almost anything. A man on the moon and all that. It’s laughable, really. Are we any more advanced, comparatively, than Benjamin Franklin out there flying a kite in a thunderstorm?

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