Thursday, April 17, 2008

Guest Post by Dick

The anti-Christ of political reason cometh, or.... why the porn business isn't all that it's cracked up to be, or... just another pile of random shit you won't be hearing grandma reflect back upon over a cup of tea anytime soon.

When was the last time you saw a decent porn flick? I'm talking about one with meticulous acting, superb directing, and of course it's immediately followed up by Alistair Cooke, interviewing the respective stars for veritable hours of witty banter.

That's correct class; Pretty Peaches, circa 1978 and if you gave any other answer, you'd be frightfully and unforgivably wrong. Which in turn leaves me to thank God that my own personal, much ballyhooed, and gracefully short porn career was tied into one pitifully nameless movie.

It was one of those mercifully short, god-awful cinematic abortions where I was nothing more than another confused white youth, packing a pipe wrench, and flopping about in the background of the set as if I were a freshly clubbed baby seal on the Alaskan tundra, waiting on yet another of Al Gore's empty promises to save my ass. Yes my friends, those truly were the days of roughing it. We didn't have fluffers, towel girls, or any sort of fancy plumbing to clean ourselves afterwards, only steel wool, rusty chainmail, and leaves that we found on the forest floor, and by God, we liked it.

Seriously though, besides the family dog, accompanied by the errant jar of peanut butter thing, have you ever tried to shoot a quality porn movie? Without laughing your ass off?

When I tell you it's a wild ass job, I'm not kidding in the least.

Who else here has been in a porn flick? I mean besides the crap that's sent in to Pornhub.com?

The recent Congo plane crash:

Anybody else out there that had this happen to them when they read the story as it was initially reported?

Associated Press 3 minutes ago

GOMA, Congo – "A plane crashed Tuesday into a crowded neighborhood in eastern Congo, and at least 79 people were believed to have died, government officials said. There were six known survivors."

So my brain immediately processed... Jack, John Locke, Sawyer, Sayid, Kate, and Claire.

Yep, I'll probably burn for that one as well. Need me to save ya a seat?

In other news that's making George Washington roll over in his grave. Little Berry O' told a Philly reporter the other day, and this should be splattered all of the net, yet I've only seen it at Ace's place and LGF.

“What I would want to do is to have my Justice Department and my Attorney General immediately review the information that’s already there and to find out are there inquiries that need to be pursued. I can’t prejudge that because we don’t have access to all the material right now. I think that you are right, if crimes have been committed, they should be investigated." – Barack Obama

You're kidding, right? Come on Lil' Berry... Nobody's that fucking stupid, or are they?

I seriously wonder if this sanctimonious assplow realizes that if he were to attempt to prosecute the former administration, it would lead to an almost immediate and inevitable second civil war. And yes, just per wild ass chance you're wondering, I am referring to the shooting variety.

Think that's cocky or maybe talking a little random shit of the cuff? Try prosecuting Bush or Cheney as common criminals and I'm fairly certain that we'll find out whether it is or not.

One final happy thought~

Ya know, I've heard over and over how we should reach across the aisle, conservatives and liberals should work together for a single purpose. How we should extend our hands and place our trust in our fellow countrymen. Yeah...

Fuck you, and die screaming. Not ever gonna happen. And of course as always, I mean that in a good Christian way.

Last, buy definitely not least. I need to do a quick shout out to a dear friend, SSG Mark McG of the US Army, Infantry, Fort Hood, Texas 4th Infantry Division. He's one of the many brave and caring people who serve our military in Iraq. He's also left his beautiful wife, Erin, and brand new son, Tucker, behind at Fort Hood while he's at work.

Mark, you know the drill far too well. Keep your head on a swivel, trust no one while entrusting everything, and please, please bud, come home safe and in one piece for your little boy and beautiful wife.

~Dick

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