Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My New Business

You may have noticed my brief absence from blogging here. I have been developing my new business. I am going into the offset business.

I won't be doing carbon offsets. I really like creating greenhouse gases and don't really want to cut back. That's why I traded my Honda Civic Hybrid in on a Ford Expedition. (grunt, grunt)

I will be offering offsets in multiple categories and will include a price list in this post. For those of you who would like a franchise, they won't be available. However, there will be an honesty offset for those who steal my idea!

Offset Type Fee
Adultery $50/occasion (bulk rates also available)
Tobacco use Whatever the pack cost/pack
Donut eating $2/donut or $20/dozen
Stealing 10%
Poor parenting $500/day
Alcohol use Are you kidding?
Please send all payments to my e-mail via PayPal. What ideas can you come up with? OBTW, I will gladly host Ted Kennedy's wind generators, for a small fee.

No comments: