You may have noticed my brief absence from blogging here. I have been developing my new business. I am going into the offset business.
I won't be doing carbon offsets. I really like creating greenhouse gases and don't really want to cut back. That's why I traded my Honda Civic Hybrid in on a Ford Expedition. (grunt, grunt)
I will be offering offsets in multiple categories and will include a price list in this post. For those of you who would like a franchise, they won't be available. However, there will be an honesty offset for those who steal my idea!
| Offset Type | Fee |
| Adultery | $50/occasion (bulk rates also available) |
| Tobacco use | Whatever the pack cost/pack |
| Donut eating | $2/donut or $20/dozen |
| Stealing | 10% |
| Poor parenting | $500/day |
| Alcohol use | Are you kidding? |
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