Thursday, June 28, 2007

World: "Yeah" Hamas: "No Way, Man."

Tony Blair Accepts Appointment as Middle East Peace Envoy
The United Nations, United States, European Union and Russia announced the appointment Wednesday of Tony Blair as their representative to promote peace between Israel and the Palestinians.

A statement from the so-called Quartet of international mediators said the former British prime minister will seek to mobilize international assistance to the Palestinians and develop plans to promote Palestinian economic development.

Blair will also seek international support to address the needs of Palestinian government institutions, "focusing as a matter of urgency on the rule of law," the statement said.
Meanwhile, Yahia Mussa stated,
Look, we can't work with him. The Former Criminal Minister of the imperialist not so Great Britain has not stated in an unequivocal fashion that the Israeli dogs are the sole cause of evil in Middle East. Short of this type of declaration, such as that offered by the benevolent former President Carter, Allah Bless Him, demonstrates beyond a doubt that Blair will attempt to treat the Israeli dogs in a fair and unbiased fashion. THIS CANNOT STAND!!!
Mussa quoted Blair as saying:
"The problem we have with Hamas is very, very simple. The only solution is a two-state solution -- Israeli state, viable Palestinian state. The problem is how do we negotiate that with Hamas if they say that Israel hasn't the right to exist?"
After this quote, Mussa was noted to scream something like:
I mean, holy excrement of a camel, how can we work with this? He asks, "How do we negotiate with Hamas?" I tell him,
  • Stop economic blockade
  • Give me, I mean, Hamas, I mean, the Palestinian state all the money we can spend
  • Eradicate Israel
Then we can talk, you piece of filth that even a starving Israeli dog wouldn't eat.
President Bush, immediately after announcing his switch to the Democrat Party, issued the following statement:
I think we have to respect Mr. Mussa. It is very promising that he has outlined a framework for further negotiations. I have consulted with President Carter, a respected member of my new party, and he is confident that we can trust Hamas, much as Fatah trusted them. President Carter feels that these demands, er, uh, suggestions are very similar to what he feels is necessary for peace in the Middle East and we will work to implement them.


(Note, some of the above may represent extrapolations from information only available in the authors mind.)

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