Yesterday, while I was making the appointment for my first yearly mammogram (am I really that age already?!), a quest for the first set of films taken in '93 was set into motion. After I told the third person at the third hospital record storage facility, "Please check under my maiden name"...I got to thinking about names and marriage.
Now, I know you all don't see it here very often but trust me when I tell you that deep down I am a raging feminist. I think people assume that being pro-life and anti-feminist go hand in hand...but au contraire mon fraire! I am a stay-at-home, pro-life, man-loving frothing femi-nazi. ;)
So anyway, the whole woman having her father's name and then taking her husband's has always bothered me. It was a sign of ownership -a woman who is first owned and controlled by her father is then taken off his hands by her husband who then owns and controls her. I realize it doesn't mean that now --but why keep a convention rooted in ownership and piss poor tradition?
I can see keeping the name if you're a Vanderbilt or a Hilton...but for the most part--what's in a name (besides vestiges of a time women were subjugated by their fathers and husbands)? I think that when a couple gets married they should both choose a new name together...
The Man is very cool about these things and he has a terrible last name -he offered to take mine but mine was even worse. Some people get lucky and they go from Jane Heart to Jane Sunshine. I went from ALa Crap to ALa Fat... We talked about just picking a new last name...and I had some good ones:
Day (then EVERY day would be ALa Day)
This new name proposal would also alleviate the 'disappointment' over not producing a male heir because 'carrying on the name' would be a moot point.
But, The Man's father died two weeks before we got married and since he would never see us married or never meet his grandchildren I figured the least I could do was give them his name. So I endure with the wretched name because I know my man didn't read any ownership into it and was willing to forgo using it.
I know the men are thinking 'who cares about this' but that's because white men are the only in history that have never been held down. Women were considered property much the way slaves were and I hate that we still have traditions that stem from that thinking. ...So there you have it, a glimpse into my feminista side.