Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy 2007: Janus Says Reflect and be Resolute...

Actually, I never make resolutions... most are pretty shallow anyway, aren't they? I'm going to get my 20 year old body back, I must increase my bust, I'm gonna to bench more than 250 lbs...I'm going to finally ask that stripper out, and so on...

I think the reason this tradition began was to reflect on what happened over the past year and have hopes for the year to come. And that could be more valuable than lofty goals that most abandon by March.

Maybe most people don't like to partake in the entire tradition as reflection on the year that past can be depressing if you were caught in the rat race and didn't really accomplish anything.

...I'm guilty of that. I'm a motivated by stress, high energy person that always has 20 things juggling at once. So I think I will use that reflection to make a resolution this year --I want to be able to slow down and actually enjoy life more instead of just micro-managing it. I need to learn to slow down and realize the world won't collapse if I'm not running around like a decapitated chicken.

...Also, I started Welbutrin about two weeks ago to help in the ongoing quest to stop smoking. I didn't divulge this before because I have a rebellious core and if people ask "Have you stopped smoking yet?” etc. --It will only make me want to smoke. The Man, who knows me well, never does that...he'll say "Don't even try, you'll never quit". That's what works for me...a challenge, not pressure. ...But here's the thing, I am wondering if an anti-depressant (essentially what Welbutrin is) can have the opposite effect on someone that isn't depressed. I feel like I've been more on edge since I've been taking it and much quicker to snap than normal. Maybe this was a bad time of year to start and it's just holiday stress? The other problem is I am already an insomniac and insomnia is a drug side effect... But I'm taking it and my Doc said to set the quit date at least a month after I started...so we'll see what happens. Kali got me a 'Stop Smoking' book she swears by that I am going to read a week before the quit date --and I can also use the patch if I need it. My Doc says the more methods you combine, the better your chances of success. Don't suggest will-power...I have none.

Maybe now that the holiday stress is done the Welbutrin can work as the catalyst of both my goals...chilling out and being smoke free.

Nonetheless, another year has passed and we draw closer to the prospect of Hillary '08 and that's nothing to be celebrating about...

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