Friday, December 29, 2006

Life Observation #17

This topic has been on my mind for a long time, but I haven't posted about it because WAY too many people in my life are in this situation and I didn’t want anyone to think I was posting about them (as it could be any one of 25+ people). So I am prefacing this post by saying, on everything I hold dear I am writing this as a generalization --asking questions about an observation I have made over the years and I have NO SPECIFIC person in mind as I write (or no ONE specific person...) So if you’re thinking I wrote this about you, or you, or you—I didn’t... It was actually sparked by someone I only know through association that is mad right now because his 12 year old daughter hasn’t spoken to him in 8 months…

Did that pique your interest? ;)

I understand that marriages and relationships end. People try and when they can't make it work they move on looking for a better situation. I get that. What I don't get is why people move from the relationship they're leaving right into another one. I think both sexes do it --but I’m pretty sure men do it more.

Help me understand this... Why leave a bad relationship and immediately jump into a new co-habitation? Why not get your own place and spend time by yourself healing, making things right with family and kids if you have them and figuring out what went wrong and what needs to change the next time around. And why would the "new person" even want the damaged person to move right in? Do they not care if they’re the rebound person -or are they so desperate they don't care if they are? Don’t they want the person to take time and sort out all their emotions/guilt/etc. before jumping into something new?

Many in this situation get mad that people in their lives are so upset with them --but why don’t they understand it's too much too soon? If you want friends and family to accept this huge life change...do it in increments. You can't tell family (especially kids) that you and your spouse aren't going to be together anymore AND that you’re moving in with some new chick/dude... that's WAY too much to be processed.

Anyway, hearing this scenario more and more lately just makes me wonder what facilitates it. A distorted sense of romance? -you've been so unhappy for so long you believe this is “the one” and want it that second regardless of how many people you hurt?...or maybe just that people have a hard time being alone because then they’d have to face their mistakes?...or is it as simple as a man needs someone to cook and wash his underwear...? Why the rush?

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