Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Russ has Returned!!!

Comeback Post By Russ from Winterset


So I’m listening to the news today, and I hear that jackass from North Carolina say that he drove through all those UNC students with his Jeep for “the glory of ALa”. This sounds familiar – seems like I’ve heard that Daniel Pearl was beheaded “for ALa”, the Shi’a mosque was bombed “for ALa”, and the whole muslim world needs to rise up and set fire to the western world “because it is ALa’s will”.

Maybe I’m just a sicko, but all I can think is “Damn, girl. Ain’t you just the Jodie Foster of the Middle East?”

[On a totally unrelated note, turtles are the COOLEST pets ever, and every turtle should be given a name that begins with the letter “T”. Alliteration just sounds “right” when you’re naming a turtle or tortoise. My personal favorite is “Tippy”. My wife won’t let me keep a turtle in the house (yeah, she’s guilty of “mammalocentric thinking”) and I’m just SOOOOOO jealous of Ninja & Busta.]

I’m leaving Wednesday afternoon for Dallas, and I’ll try to send daily updates from the Big 12 basketball tournament. On a negative note, I couldn’t find anyone else who wanted to drive it with me, so I’ll be flying out of Kansas City; however on the positive side, I WON’T be riding my motorcycle, so ALa won’t be getting a panicked call from the middle of freakin’ nowhere asking her to hop on the internet & find the closest Kawasaki dealership to Wichita, Kansas. Iowa State isn’t exactly having a great year, so I’ll probably have a LOT of free time after the first game against Okie State on Thursday, or at best after the Kansas matchup on Friday if we can beat the Cowboys. I was thinking about packing my paintball gun & walking over to Dealey Plaza to see if I can hit all the flyer-distributing conspiracy freaks over by the School Book Depository from a hide on the grassy knoll, but a 70+ yard shot with a paintball gun in those swirling winds around all those tall buildings would take more luck than Oswald needed. Plus the fact that Dallas cops PROBABLY have no sense of humor about that sort of thing. It’s probably best that I leave the paintball gun at home, upon further reflection. We’ll probably just go to our strengths – drinking, drinking, and more drinking.

I’m going to see if I’m over my case of blogger’s block. Hope to have more for y’all to read soon."

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