The Man and I have a really good marriage, we laugh a lot and it's rare that we fight. Actually I can only remember three fights that were more than a passing annoyance in nine years. This isn't to say that I have any knowledge that 60% of America doesn't possess or any gems of wisdom to impart...most times I think it's just a fluke --a stroke of good luck. I say that because we married only six months after we started dating and three of those months we were living on different continents.
That being said we had a fight on Saturday night. What I have realized is the fight is not a solvable one. It will be one of those "agree to disagree” situations. That's because it's a fight that truly distinguishes the sexes and how they handle things...one of those fights that makes you understand just how VERY different men and woman are. A fight, I can honestly say, that I "get" his reasoning but still don't like it.
Saturday night The Man went to an "invitation Only" party for the 10th anniversary of our friend's Rockabilly bar (we were both invited, but AG was over and I stayed home). When he got home he was a bit buzzed and began rambling on about all the night's funny little annoyances. He proceeded to tell us that that our friend P's girlfriend (who is a 22 year old, sleeved up Psychobilly chick that wears more makeup than Tammy Fay Baker -painted on eyebrows and all) said something very insulting to him about me (the fact that it was about me was implied, not said outright). He said nothing back and just walked away.
-His point is that she's a silly child with no job and no future and who gives a crap what she thinks or says...that he wouldn't have even graced her comment with a reply.
-My point is OMG, this is my husband and isn't it his duty to defend me? Now she thinks that she can say crappy things right to my husband's face and he will say nothing?
I understand he believes he took the mature option and the smarter option by not baiting her further or giving any credence to her mutterings, but I couldn't help feeling slighted and a bit hurt.
I post this not to air dirty laundry or settle an argument publicly, but because I find it fascinating to explore the larger implications...Is this a male/female thing? Have we women been overly conditioned by romantic comedies in which the gallant boyfriend would battle wits all night long to protect his woman's honor?
...I ask this because the more I thought about it, I realized I may have been mad if he said anything too. Since she didn't say my name with her nasty little comment...had he said something it would have made it look like I popped into his mind.
Can men do no right?