Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Guest Post ... by Aunt Bitchy


Thoughtless People:
Is it just me or does NOBODY say “Thank you” anymore?If I hold the door for you…YOU SAY “THANKS”... I am not a Goddamn doorman!

Overly Sensitive People:
Walking on Egg Shells, fragile, whining…why even talk to people if everything offends them…crying mother …..

Here is a box of tissues… now…Shut the hell up!

Truly Cheap People

Look if you cannot afford to tip…DO NOT GO OUT TO EAT…waiters and waitresses make like $2.50 an hour….by the way $ 1.00 is not a tip…*if that is all you have, it seems like you might need it more than they do ok?*
PS: If you wash out Ziploc bags…I am irked. Look…I understand if there is like chips in them but…Chili? NO! Throw it out…not worth the hassle!

Wolverine Nails:
Men with really long fingernails…look…it is not cute…if your nails are longer than most women’s…it has to go! I am not going to even talk about toe nails…

Public Restroom Etiquette:
Damn Ladies wash your hands before leaving the restroom….people DO notice when you do not take the time to wash your hands…if you don’t do it at home AT LEAST put on a good show for the public…*Aunt Bitchy will give you a dirty look and use paper towel to open door while exiting said restroom*

Body Hair:
we all know sandal season is approaching…with that I need you to keep a couple things in mind…unfortunately God put fur on some of your toes…yes ladies your toes…this hair needs to be REMOVED. People DO look, I don't care if it is LIGHT HAIR... it still needs to be shaved. Also, thinking about wearing a half shirt? Unfortunately again...many women have a trail of fur below the navel…this needs to be SHAVED nobody wants a girl with a LOVE TRAIL…they are sexy on men not women! *strong believer in shaving armpits and legs…do not go there, I am conservative not an f*** hippie*
back hair is NEVER okay…it is another unfortunate happening in life that is beyond our control but not beyond controlling…if this is you, the wife needs to hook you up with some NAIR or wax!

People that do not have a job living in an apartment for $60 a month (when I pay $550), use ACCESS CARDS and have a Cadillac Escalade parked outside….WTF?!!! If you do not believe me come to Philly!
*aunt bitchy dedicates this particular annoyance to Free0352, he understands*

Parking Spaces:
If you spend three hours digging out a parking space…in 20 degree weather…after a storm that brings 8-10 inches of snow…common sense tells you that NOBODY would even think of Parking there…WRONG! People DO NOT THINK. In your head, you are telling yourself not to key his car up, not to slash his tires… would consider doing it if car was not parked directly in front of house...

(Automatic guilt)…. Breathe in breathe out…happy place…find happy place.
*Grounds for a major ass whopping….*

Okay Red light for YOU, Green Light for ME….you are walking as if you have all f*** day….no care in the world…take your time…my light is now turning yellow…still not out of street…staring me down…people honking…just take your time…NO that’s okay I have no where to f*** go LIKE WORK, yeah work do you know what that means…people are completely thoughtless assholes. Experiencing Road Rage daily, not sure why?

<>(*sarcasm font*)


Old people…they always have like ten things in their cart and take each item out of
the cart as if they were all a carton of eggs… gently one by one put on the counter
(this lasts a good 5 minutes total)…now complaining about meat they thought was
on sale for $0.49 cents a pound (lasts another 5 minutes give or take a few)
PRICE CHECK! Ready to fully flip out, you think it could not get any f*** worse…
they bust out a BLANK CHECK…OMG!!! Need to smoke pack of cigarettes…fake
smiling at her…secretly planning her demise?

This concludes my random tactless post on what annoys me… answer: pretty much everything and everyone!

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