Let me preface my comments by saying that all of you constitutional and governmental experts out there might as well save your breath, or, if you so wish, go ahead and spew away about my drug policy outlined below…I don’t care. I fully realize that this is a crackpot theory that is not steeped in constitutional principle. I fully realize that such a policy stands a snowball’s chance in hell of ever seeing the light of day. With that said, I firmly believe though, that this is the only policy that would actually WORK:
Yes, Marijuana would be legal---with the following general stipulations:
Legal age of 18 and over.
Not just stiff, but HARSH penalties for the following: being high while driving, operating machinery---basically any situation that being high in could potentially end anger other people.
No public smoking. No smoking around children—even (and perhaps especially) in the confines of your own house.
Distribution of marijuana to a minor merits an automatic minimum jail sentence of 5 years.
Mild, and only mild, mushrooms would be treated the same as marijuana.
Peyote and other naturally grown drugs used by Indians (oh, oops, I mean Native Americans—sorry there thought police!) for religious and ritualistic purposes would be legal within those confines.
Marijauna and mild mushrooms sold commercially would be taxed. The proceeds of the marijuana tax would fund the following enforcement and rehabilitation campaign regarding “hard” drugs:
The basic, underlying philosophy of the enforcement and rehabilitation campaign is that the users/addicts would be truly treated for their addictions, and the sellers would be truly punished.
There will be a graduated scale of punishment for all dealers of hard drugs:
The International and National Kingpins: automatic death penalty.
The regional, state, county, and city kingpins: automatic death penalty.
The neighborhood kingpins: automatic life in prison-no chance of parole.
The dumb little idiot who thinks he’s cool for dealing a bag of coke here, and a bit of heroin there, and a tab of LSD there: automatic 20 years in prison-no chance of parole.
Anybody caught dealing a “hard” drug to a minor: automatic death penalty.
All addicts will undergo a thorough mandatory residential medical and psychological rehabilitation program.
The following is the international side of my drug policy:
THE BORDERS ARE MILITARIZED AND SEALED (also for, of course, general homeland security reasons---imagine that, huh?)
Anybody caught importing hard drugs into our nation will be treated as if they are importing a dirty bomb: they will be immediately field executed.
Any nation’s government that knowingly, whether it be tacit or implicit, condones the production and exportation of hard drugs into America will be put on notice: they will have six months to clean house. After six months, if their house is not cleaned, we will clean their drug fields and labs for them: WITH NAPALM.
The following is the domestic gang side of my drug policy:
All known criminal gangs (such as the Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, M-13, and the whole host of those cowardly bitches) will be properly viewed as enemies of the state, and will be treated accordingly. National Guard infantry, cavalry, and military police units will be mobilized, and in conjunction with local police will conduct sweeps and raids in all known criminal gang neighborhoods----the gangs will be violently wiped out-all members will be either killed in the combat, or if they survive, will be put away in prison for life, it’s as simple as that.
So there it is folks. Huff and puff away.