Monday, November 08, 2004

The Scapegoat SATIRE*...

The Democrats seem to have found their scapegoat...San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom. They spent the weekend pontificating on the various woes of him being responsible for bringing gay marriage into the 'public eye'... by allowing scores of same-sex marriages in San Fran. They speculate that without this 'wedge issue' Kerry may have won. They may be right --but what they are forgetting is that there was no discernible difference between Bush & Kerry's stance on gay marriage...both are against it. Both are open to civil unions.
(A story released this week disclosed that Slick Willy told Kerry to come out stronger against gay marriage and to embrace the ballot amendments in the eleven states that were debating them. Another story this weeks describes a campaign Kerry meltdown-- after his pre-surgery chat with Clinton became public knowledge. He did not want people to think he was looking to Mr. Lewinski for help...The odds are overwhelming that Clinton leaked it...)
Kerry avoided the gay marriage issue. He was not for it, but he didn't want to be against it...

So anyway, back to Gavin... When all the San Fran shenanigans began to unfold I said to The Man, "This is a free campaign commercial for Bush! Let the weddings commence!"...
Not because I am a homophobe or because I think the rest of the US is either...but because I am a typical shallow American. Let me explain...we are a country that enjoys aesthetically pleasing sights. Have you ever watched a British Soap Opera? All normal people...all people you could see in your local mall. If I wanted to see that I would just go to the mall. I want to see beauty --and so do most Americans...we are programmed to expect it. Rosie O'Donell making out with her new 'wife' is not pretty...it's downright disturbing. Not because they are both women...disturbing in the same way that watching Riki Lake make out with Jack Black would be disturbing. Ewww.

Each time the camera panned the couples waiting to partake in marital bliss, the country was reminded that lesbians don't usually look like this:

Picture of 'lipstick lesbians' was here...

We watched all the couples emerging...clutching their new wedding licenses and we saw the harsh reality over and over...They usually look like this:

Picture of 'man-lesbians' was here...

and like this:

Picture of 'man like lesbians' here too... (Pics removed to help out the dial-up folks)

The reality was not quite the fantasy we have all been programmed to expect... This was NOT 'Real Sex' on HBO, or Playboy, or Maxim... This was reality (and we don't even like our 'reality shows' real). Watching all those large gym-teacherish women groping each other on national television was a stark reminder to Americans that all lesbians don't look like Pamela Anderson or Carmen Electra...but many look more like 'Pat' from Saturday Night Live. (on the flip side...many gay men are quite attractive... I will have to ponder more on the discrepancy...) A very good friend of mine, J, is a lesbian and she is quite beautiful (a healthy-looking Maria Shriver)...and even she gets distressed about her prospects of finding a suitable mate...)

So... was it a gay thing or an ugly thing that hurt John Kerry? Is the country really opposed to gay marriage or are they just opposed to the disillusion of their fantasies? Remember, this is the country that made Paris Hilton Famous... Many conservatives I know are pro-civil union. If Mayor Newsom would have packed the lines with lipstick-lesbians, would the outcome have been different...? The Democrats may want to rethink why they are mad at the Mayor --because he let gays marry...or because he let unattractive gays marry while the National press had cameras running...

*i know the libs are a bit raw these days...so i feel i must re-direct your attention to the word 'satire' in the title...

1 comment:

J. Marquis said...

I don't know how many people really blame Gavin Newsom but I do think gay marriage cost Kerry the election.

I think for a LOT of people gay marriage is the line in the sand where tolerance ends. Abortion is more of a private matter but the sight of thousands of gays getting married on the nightly news really pissed people off.

I think at least civil unions will be legal eventually. Polls of people under 30 show a much more relaxed attitude on the subject.

Like you said, both Bush and Kerry were against gay marriage. But I bet if you polled Bush voters at least half would say they thought Kerry was FOR gay marriage.