Thursday, October 28, 2004

Submit Your Titles...

Over at Are We There Yet?, J. Marquis (who is a paradox...a very nice lib...LOL) posted this list of books in honor of the release of Bill O'Reilly's new book:

"Bill has a new book out. He wants to share his wit and wisdom with all the young folks out there.

Here's some other books offered in this award-winning series:

Pee Wee Herman Talks to Kids About Movies

Michael Jackson's Magical Sleepover Stories

Rush Limbaugh on Drugs: The Real Dope

What to Do if Your Mother is Courtney Love

Zell Miller's Crazy Cracker Coloring Book

O.J. Simpson, Teen Detective"

I gave him my additions to this list:

Watching What You Eat, by Michael Moore
The Evils of Botox and Spray Tan, by John F. Kerry
How to be Honest, by Terry McAuliffe
Being Faithful to Your Spouse, by William Clinton
The Joys of Being a Good Wife, by Hillary Clinton
Teaching Our Kids not to Steal, by Sandy Berger
Make Sure you go to College, by Hollywood
How Not to Get Killed by Your Girlfriend's Husband, By Vincent Foster
Lessons in Honest Journalism, by Dan Rather
Hope for an Honest World, by Kofi Annon
Coming Out of the Closet, by Ron Reagan Jr.
What not to Wear, by Madaline Albright & Janet Reno
Lessons in being Non-Partisan, by Richard Ben-Veniste
Don't Criticize That Which Ye Have Created, by Jamie S. Gorelick
My Endorsement Matters!, by Al Gore
Keeping Your Cool, by Howard Dean
Radio Requires Actual Talent, by Stuart Smalley & Jeannine Garafolo

As I am off to see Sean Hannity & Ollie North today...I thought I would leave this as a bit of pre-election stress relief...Feel free to add your titles to the list...
There are rumblings of a good size protest outside of Sean's event --so, hopefully I will have an exciting post later tonight. I have to go find my mace....Have a great day!


Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

As you brave your way past mobs of hateful leftists, just breathe. Fill your lungs with pints and pints of refreshing oxygen, deep down to the lowest parts of your lungs. They hate that.

And if you really want to get them beside themselves in pathological disorders, say a few nice things about America. They'll pop blood vessels right there on the spot.

leftyjones said...

Here's one:

"I've got WAY too much free time" by Ala71

Going to see Sean Hannity.....Laura Bush last week....geez, next thing you know I'll find out that your also the one that's been delivering Rush Limbaugh his meds.
So....wait a minute...if you're going to hannity then that means he's in the area and I could go too!! I can't believe he's wasting his time here when Pennsylvania is over....
Maybe I'll go lurk in the protestor crowd until i see you coming and then I'll jump out like the old hag in Princess Bride, pointing at you and screaming BOOOOOO....BOOOOOOO....bow to the queen of republican slime....or something like that.
I have a little time left to make a plan. Maybe I'll see you there!

One last book submission....
"Even I Hate Me"....Cigarette Smoking Man

Aunt Bitchy said...

Have no fear, I will be joining ALA through the crowd of Kerry Kool-Aid drinkers...
I have been known to be a little crass every now and again...(no comments please) Anybody messes with my sis they might have to answer to my 3-inch heels! (smile)
Although, I am hoping for some level of maturity amongst the masses!
Details to come...

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

AB, maturity? Just take one look at Lefty's post and you'll see all you need to see.

Hey Lefty: America is the greatest country on earth. You may resume your rabid, pathological hate-speech now.

McWizard said...

I remember when I was 17 and working construction. This not so bright guy was given the job of taking down a scaffold. Instead of taking it loose from inside the house he stood on it as he removed the nails. His inability to forsee the consequences of his actions resulted in disaster. Sort of like US citizens who, goaded by the Michael Moore Hates the USA cheering section, blindly tear at our underpinnings.

McWizard said...

"Raising The Dead" Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard J. Daley

leftyjones said...


I admit I usually don't respond to you because frankly there is very little of worth that you ever have to say. Today I made the error of indirectly addressing you with my book title and as a result, I deserve your sad little commentary.
I love my country...there is nowhere I'd rather be. One of the key differences between people like me and you is that while I'll argue positions I would not feign the arrogance you swaddle yourself in by accusing an entire section of society as sworn America haters or even accuse you of being a propogater of hate speech.
I'm not sure what fuels your personal misery, your strange need to froth at the unfortunately I cannot offer you much help.
I will leave you with this's a great country out there that is full of opportunity and fulfillment if you decide to embrace it rather than sit around and look under rocks for people to accuse of ruining it. Maybe one day you'll be able to find the personl, professional and relationship joy that some of us have and it won't all be so hard for you. Until then, you're just an bitter man with a keyboard......and that doesn't change one damn thing.

Kat said...

In relationships, I've noticed that it is usually those that love that are those that are the most capable of lashing out and damaging the person or thing that they love most. Loving and knowing someone or something, it is easiest to find their weakness and home in on it when ever they are angry or feel attacked.

I've been saying for awhile now that we are in a new revolution. It is the resurgence of "conservative" beliefs that those that are "liberal" find the most dangerous. In essence, their position, as the old revolutionary guard and arbiters of morality for the last 30 years, is threatened by the new morality (which is actually old) of the new conservative (neo-conservative). And so, lashing out, they would destroy the very thing they love rather than see it change.

it's frankly the reason so many find President Bush to be scary enough to hate. He represents a change that is contradictory to the very things that they hold dear. In reality, the old liberal is the new conservative. They want no change to their status quo. That itself is conservative thinking.

For what it's worth, as I was once an annointed liberal, the liberals have no one to blame but themselves for the awakening of the new conservative. Just as the ultra conservativism of the 50's created the rebellion of the 60's and the advent of liberalism that swept the country for nearly 30 years, ultra liberals have created the backlash of conservativism in the very bosom of the ones they wished to change.

It's a cycle that we go through continually. If you think back to the age of enlightenment that eventually wound into the victorian age and then moved to the Edwardian and roaring 20's to the new conservative behavior of the 40's and 50's and then onto the rebellion of the 60's and 70's, so forth and so on, it wouldn't be so scary to people. In each move towards one side or the other, a new set of principles were created based on the merging of the old and the new ideology.

It's evolution.

But the evolving species is often an angry species and as I said, the thing that we love most is also the thing that we have the most capability to destroy.

Bigandmean said...

I'm OK but you Suck - Hillary Clinton's confession of what she really thinks of Monica Lewinsky.
What's the Frequency Kenneth? - Dan Rather's mapcap review of a memorable night on the town.
It Ain't Easy Being Easy - Pam Anderson's mapcap review of several memorable nights on the town.
The Dawn of the Dead - Terry McAuliffe explains all about how to register new voters for the democratic party.
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly - Father Guido Sarduci writes about Mother Teresa's road trip with Bill Clinton and any one of his girlfriends.
From Here to Maternity - Janet Reno write's about the time she almost got someone pregnant.
Fo Mo Yeeahs - Al Sharpton helps with proper pronunciation of common political slogans.
How I Invent Stuff Without Knowing a Damn Thing About It - Al Gore (ghost written)
Taking a short Tour on a Small Boat - Thurston Howell III and John Forbes Kerry
How to Channel Dead People - John Edwards and John Edward
51 Varieties - Teresa Heinz Kerry talks about condiments and politicians.
Crack Kills - Breathless account by Barbara Walters about watching John Kerry try to break dance while wearing his dockers ghetto style.

free0352 said...

“How to loose veteran friends and disenfranchise Republican voters”-John Kerry

“Being right so often is starting to hurt my brain”- Ann Coulter

“Lying movie makers and the fat, greasy, bastard Michiganders who make them. A fair and left wing biased look at Michel Moore.”- Al Franken

free0352 said...

Oh, and this one.

"Zig-Hiel! Crushing the illegal Zionist empire." -by Hillary Clinton

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

"I love my country..."

You love the Socialist utopia you think you can turn it into, irrationally assuming that what happened to the U.S.S.R., Cuba, and North Korea would not similarly happen here when the same mistake of government ownership of the means of production, gets tried yet again.

"there is nowhere I'd rather be."

This is because in Europe (or Canada) they'd expect you to get a real education; and elsewhere if you set one foot out on the street to protest THEM (even heroes of yours like Castro), you'd disappear from the earth faster than lasagna at a buffet in Michael Moore's honor. So yeah. America is the only place you could possibly function... as yourself.

"accusing an entire section of society as sworn America haters or even accuse you of being a propogater of hate speech."

Propagating hate speech is exactly what the left is doing right now. See here for proof that your denials run counter the empirical observation of the truth.

"I'm not sure what fuels your personal misery"

No misery at all. I'm having the time of my life. I think you are using the defense mechanism of projection here.

"your strange need to froth at the keyboard"

Froth? I'll let the neutral observer look at your first comment to this post and make their own judgment on that score.

"Maybe one day you'll be able to find the personl, professional and relationship joy that some of us have"

You know your accusations that Bush ruined your life become pretty silly when you turn around and proclaim your life isn't ruined. Flip-flop much?

Tom said...

Stumping for Kerry by Max Cleland

1001 Beauty Tips for Liberal Women by Helen Thomas
(Sample Chapters include Braiding Armpit Hair the Easy Way; Botox Works on Elbows and Kneecaps, Too; Dating Liberal Men: Birkenstocks CAN Be A Turn On; and a Bonus Chapter, Sex With Liberal Men: An Erection Isn't Everything)

Personal Grooming the Arafat Way by Yassir Arafat with Michael Moore

Burning Bridges by Sen. Edward M Kennedy

Latin for Dummies by Pope John Paul II

What's a 'Hican and Why Ain't They Mo' of 'Em? by Al Sharpton, with a forward by Jesse Jackson

The Adventure of Sherlocks Holme (and his brother Mobile) by Jesse Jackson, with a forward by Al Sharpton

Forging A Career: Advice to Young Journalists by Dan Rather

ALa said...

"Stumping for Kerry by Max Cleland"

Damn you Tom...I just spit Starbucks on my new white shirt!!!!!!!!!

leftyjones said...


Your assessments would be laughable if they didn’t show what a scary extremist view of the world that you have.
First of all……unlike you, I have known Ala for almost 20 years as a friend and my post was directed to her in fun. I jokingly refer to protesting her in a Princess Bride-like fashion and you turn it into some kind of anarchist riot. Whatever….let’s just chalk that one up as you being uninformed again even though you believe you know everything.

As for your comments on North Korea, the Soviet union…..are you F’ing kidding me?
You of all people are now going to tell me what I want this country to be….that I have some hopes of turning it into a socialist utopia?? I’m probably one of the biggest capitalists I know…..but hey, a little truth never stopped you from speculating wildly.

You then claim in another country I could get a “real education” and that America is the “only place I could function as myself” ….
Please Karnac….tell me about my education!
I am probably one of the few people I know that can actually claim to have gone to elementary schools, secondary school and university where both Republicans and Republican thought outweighed anything liberal. Don’t think that can happen?? Spend your life in conservative Christian schools and go to college at Villanova.
But then… probably already knew that too.

Hmmm…Castro my hero…..yeah…ok…nutcase.
You say “Leftists like me” and then show me your photo file on radicals and compare me to that….
Sigh……I’m laughing at you.

CSM…..if your assumption is that everyone who stands left of center on some issues is a communist/anarchist that is intent on turning this country into North Korea….well then, I guess you are a bigger joke than I thought.
I suppose according to your logic that this means that everyone on the right is a jack booted fascist?

Did you ever stop to consider that there are people that don’t live on the radical fringe like you?

You might be interested to know that when Ala and I talk….you know, on the phone….in the real world……like real friends do….that we agree on much more politically and socially than we disagree on. We also have fun arguing on here and truly do not see some things similarly at all. Yet oddly enough…..I never picture her goose stepping around the house to Wagner just because her views happen to be right wing and she’d probably vouch for the fact that I don’t run around wishing I was French or earnestly handing out pamphlets that laud Kim Jung-Il.

There is a difference between arguing an ideological point and wanting to tear down your governmental system.
There is a difference between wanting to see or working for societal change and hating your country.

You could have asked any number of people that visit this site and that I have debated with if I’m some fringe far left wacko and I think any number of the people you might have asked…..Ala, Bigandmean, Jen, Kat, Justrose, Frater Bovious……probably even Plucky Tom….might all say that they disagree with some of my views but I don’t believe any of them would paint me out to be an America loathing far leftist radical that is intent on tearing the America we know today apart and replacing it with a Marxist system. Hell, some of them would even know me enough to know that if I even caught any one I knew wearing a pair of Birkenstocks…..I’d box them in the ears with the damn shoes.

But you……who has never entered any level of civil discourse with me at all……just launch into calling me a traitor intent on revolution. Hmmm
Do me and yourself a favor…….before viciously launching into your next victim….find out a little bit about the person you’re attacking.
Maybe ask around a little bit.
You’ll be much less likely to look like a jackass that way.

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

"what a scary extremist view of the world that you have."

How can any sane person look at the photos I linked to and say, with a straight face, that ***I*** am the "extremist" here?

"You of all people are now going to tell me what I want this country to be"

If you're anywhere near the "lefty" you claim to be I can tell you exactly, down to the letter, what your agenda is.

"I’m probably one of the biggest capitalists I know"

Then you have no business over there on the left with capitalism-haters like Michael Moore, player-haters, and all the other haters. Or are you just being a "lefty" for Halloween?

"Please Karnac….tell me about my education!"

It went awry enough to where you think you can be a "capitalist leftist".

"I suppose according to your logic that this means that everyone on the right is a jack booted fascist?"

It appears you just did. So much for you favoring Capitalism and Liberty.

"There is a difference between arguing an ideological point and wanting to tear down your governmental system."

Take another look at the photos. Look closely. And then look still more closely. Those are your political bedfellows. Those are the ones in charge if your candidate wins. One can almost hear the chants already, "NO SOCIAL JUSTICE, NO PEACE" (where "social justice" is a euphamism for robbing from the workers and giving to the lazy). The mob, your ideological bretheren, are getting restless. They want their bread and circuses and they want 'em NOW.

"There is a difference between wanting to see or working for societal change and hating your country."

The country as an objective, physical entity, is not really hated by either side. But a country of economic liberty and muscular protection of its freedom is VIRULENTLY hated by your mob bretheren, and the kind of country you would ferment us into, would probably be "hated" by those of us who prefer to keep what we earn and live without threat of physical coercion, either from terrorists or from a mob on the street.

"Hell, some of them would even know me enough to know that if I even caught any one I knew wearing a pair of Birkenstocks…..I’d box them in the ears with the damn shoes."

Not even the RADICAL left wear Birkenstocks anymore. Running shoes are more the style these days, as a practical approach to their plans for street violence if they don't get their way.

Bigandmean said...

Is this a discussion board or a hockey fight?

Cigarette Smoking Man from the X-Files said...

The term "hockey fight" is redundant. That's what I like about the sport. Dainty tree-hugging effete wine-sipping Kerry Kritters have yet to take over that province of North American culture.