Friday, July 30, 2004

What I Have Learned From the Left -"Crystal Clear"

    1. The first rule is to question everything that the President does –even in a time or war. It is our duty in a democracy and it is unpatriotic not to do so –especially in a time of war. If the ‘other side’ says that we are aiding and abetting the enemy –we scream ‘foul’ and claim that they are contesting our constitutional guarantee of dissent.

    2. The second rule is ALWAYS distrust the motives of the President –it’s a personal check and balance that keeps us safer.

    3. We must always criticize the economy –regardless of what the numbers show. It is unpatriotic to assume that ‘America can’t be better’. It would dishonor those killed on 9/11 not to expect more of our leaders.

    4. We must always remember the economic horn of plenty that Clinton provided-don’t let anyone imply this was a tech bubble; and reject the idea of the Clinton/Gore recession in 2000-2001 because they can not be blamed that a tech bubble burst.

    5. You can cover all political bases by voting for a war, but then criticizing it later. This is an important rule as you will always have two sides to stand on regardless of the crowd that you are addressing. The hawks will respect you for voting for it, and the doves will love you for protesting against it.

    6. If your constituents are mad that you voted for the war just vote against the funding of the war. To avoid people saying that you are hurting the troops, claim that the bill was worded wrong and that you didn’t want to give the President a ‘blank check’. When all else fails continue to evoke the evils of the President.

    7. Attempt to discredit everyone in the current Administration even if some were appointed by your political allies. When they are correct –take credit. If they mess up –cut them and run and blame the Administration for keeping him too long.

    8. Use any minor infraction to discredit the opposition. Try not to belittle the soldiers, because the American people won’t like that but the Administration is fair game. If you discover people putting underwear on someone else’s head or treating a prisoner in any way less than would be expected at the Waldorf Astoria, report ‘wide-spread torture’ and keep using the word ‘atrocity’. While you are at it –bring impeachment charges against the President just incase he wins a second term-start proceeding immediately. Downplay any horror committed by the opposition as retaliation for the war in general.

    9. Do not let them use Nick Berg / Paul Johnson as a diversion to any news here at home –dwelling on these deaths may remind the people what we are fighting for and there is a possibility they may rally behind the President.

    10. Constantly remind your constituents of all the awful things that America has done –never let them de-humanize the enemy or label them as ‘terrorists’ because they will relate it to 9/11 and may rally behind this corrupt administration. Remind them that we have done terrible things to African Americans and the Japanese and that we are not superior to anyone-reiterate cultural tolerance (Maybe even quote one of the 'nice' verses from the Koran).

    11. Don’t let America forget that we too have bombed things and killed innocent civilians and that the opposition in the Middle East are just young freedom fighters who strongly believe in what they are fighting for …didn’t we kill the British when we felt that they were invading our land.

    This is what I have learned in the past two weeks in my conversations with liberals on these blogs. It is wrong for me to have a flag or a yellow ribbon because that is implying that Republicans own Patriotism and that those who don’t want to fly the flag somehow love the country less than I do. I should be more worried about protecting a person’s right to borrow 'Tthe Anarchist Cookbook' from the library, and having it be kept private, than the security of my homeland –because that is the premise my homeland was built on. I should never insinuate that we should feel funny if 5 Muslim men -in there 20s- all get on my plane reading the Koran... because that would be racial profiling and lots of Muslims love the West and if we go down that road they may all end up in interment camps. The other side can accuse the president of every atrocity known to man, but I can question nothing about John Kerry because he served in Vietnam

    Does everyone know that…John Kerry was on a swift boat in Vietnam?


    Bigandmean said...

    Your a brilliant writer. I'm planning an invasion of France when we finish up with Iraq. I'll be taking Paris by myself but would like to put you in charge of invading Cannes and The South of France. Take Monaco while you're at it. I know you can do it. Are you with me? We might swing over to Germany when we finish up and conquer their wine industry so we can keep Jen stocked up.

    justrose said...

    Bigandmean -- You ROCK! C'est la guerre!

    ALa said...

    ALa71 Reporting for duty....

    ALa said...

    i said duty.....

    this we'll defend said...

    You certainly didn't learn that stuff from me. But I have to admit - even though I disagree with you and disagree with your points, that was a masterpiece of a reply. I am sure Lefty is just as impressed. Well done.

    this we'll defend said...

    GRAND RAPIDS, United States (AFP) - US President George W. Bush returned to the campaign trail, one day after the Democratic convention, which he dismissed as a venue for "clever speeches."

    I have a question - when in America did "clever" become a negative thing? I have never accused W of being "clever" but that isn't to his credit.

    What's next? Is he going to accuse Kerry of being smart, brave, a deep thinker, or worst of all, from the North?!?

    I love it when Yale grads who went to Harvard Business School attack the intellectual elite. The other day he called a reporter from the NY Times "one of them big-city types." "them"? He has a BA and an MBA from the ivy league and he still doesn't speak properly?

    Either he is a phony, or even 6 years of higher education still couldn't get through to him. Either way we are better off without him in charge.

    ALa said...

    adj. clev·er·er, clev·er·est:

    *Easily managed; docile: “Oxen must be pretty clever to be bossed around the way they are”

    *Affable but not especially smart.
    ***Copied and pasted from

    justrose said...

    confidential to This We'll Defend:
    Loved the "kumbayah" thing on cbftw. Well done.

    ALa said...

    Just found this on line:

    SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes one and gives it to someone else.
    COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you milk.
    FASCISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and sells you milk.
    NAZISM: You have two cows. The state takes both and shoots you.
    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. The state takes both, kills one, and spills the milk in the sewage system.
    CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    this we'll defend said...

    ALa71: you rule.

    Bigandmean said...

    Being a Texan, maybe I can explain W's speech habits. The way he talks is the way we talk amongst ourselves. We grew up doing it. It's a regional thing. Two year old kids down here sound like John Wayne. We know how to speak regular 'Merican too, we just save that for special occasions. The phrase "one of them big city types" would lose it's meaning if changed to "one of those large metropolitan area fellows".

    ~Jen~ said...

    Ala71 - Fan-frikkin-tastic post. I must say that again. Fan-frikkin-tastic post!!!!!!!!

    BigandMean is plotting out the invasion France.
    I'm looking forward to kicking some cheese-eating surrender-monkey ass.


    ~Jen~ said...

    I just pasted this to my site. I have read it three times already. Brilliant writing.

    Also, BigandMean has come up with a plan for the invasion of France. I posted that too. I think it could work.


    Pat in NC said...

    Found your site via Kat. Well said! You will be bookmarked.

    ~Jen~ said...

    I take that back. It's BnM's plan for a musical based on his idea of us invading France. oh my.

    Tammi said...

    Wait for me! Wait for me!! I can help!

    What a great post. I think this may be my favorite so far!

    Kat said...

    Sorry folks. As much as I would like to kick Jaque's teeth down his throat, France will not be invaded. At least, not this year. They are still "allies". They are starting to get a taste of their own failed diplomacy in Iran. Of course, we are helping that along by making Iran extremely edgy about the prospect of invasion, real or not. so, the Mullahs, against the negotiated deals with France, et al are insisting they will enrich uranium. Nothing France shouldn't have expected since France, et al helped them along and are now feeling a little tweaked that the mules "played them false" as if that was not to be expected.

    France's position as a power with Iran is extremely low and they are eating some crow. I think you can see that they are being pressured some by our State Department as they come on line and send troops and humanitarian aid to the Sudan/Chad border.

    This means that we still have the ability to negotiate or prod them a long since they have been dragging their feet and it is Colin Powell that is twisting their arm. Probably harder than he ever did before since they made him look like a schmuck at the UN security council in 2003.

    So, France still has it's uses as much as they might abhor having to go along with us.

    They will stay a soveriegn nation for a little longer.

    I know...sad. But hey! maybe we'll get to go to Iran? Would that make you happy?

    RBP said...

    You guys should work up a community theatre production of "Springtime for Hitler"

    this we'll defend said...

    Colin Powell made Colin Powell look like a schmuck at the UN. Adlai Stevenson must have been rolling in his grave (Stevenson was the one who presented evidence of the Cuban missiles and helped convince the world that Cuba and the soviets were lying). He put not only his credibility on the line, but the credibility of the United States. And he knew the evidence he was presenting was bogus - his own state department people were begging him not to do it because it wasn't true. Schmuck.

    ALa said...

    I would vote for Colin for President (though he's a bit moderate for me)...I also think it would be weird to have a President named Colin...

    I think I would rather a Hollywood Invasion than a French invasion. I wasted SO much expensive perfume in France squirting people in the trains when they weren't looking....We could drop a "Sure" bomb....
    (TWD -kidding! -really did squirt people on trains though...)

    this we'll defend said...

    I am finally entering the Blogniverse with my blog: Hope some of you stop by.

    Bathus said...

    In a previous comment thiswe'lldefend ruminates deeply on Bush's description of the Dems' convention as a "venue for 'clever speeches.'"

    "When in America," thiswe'lldefend indignantly inquires, "did 'clever' become a negative thing?"

    When? Only several hundred years ago, according to the dictionary on my desk: "The Early New England usage as implying simple and weak good nature has largely affected the use of the word throughout the United States, where it has never been much in favor."

    With a related but slightly sinister connotation, the word has long been used to suggest something above mediocrity, but well short of preeminent achievement--something dependent upon mental sleight of hand and short-cutting rather than genuine creativity, intellectual mastery, or established experience. Indeed, in every language with which I have more than passing familiarity, there is a word equivilent to "clever" that can be used to describe facile wit uncombined with either wisdom or honesty. Something of that last meaning applies well to Kerry and Edwards, who are "too clever by half."

    Bush is not briliant, but he is at least subtle enough to know that the word "clever" doesn't always have to mean mean "smart." To make that mistake, you'd almost have to be a budding lawyer who too frequently imbibes the nectar of the party of nuance.

    this we'll defend said...

    I think I just got my ass kicked. I'm pretty clever I guess.

    riceburner147 said...
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